Going through divorce? Find your why
... And "when you’re in motion, the world will lift you up."
In today’s short letter, we’re talking about finding your purpose to do something great, if incredibly difficult, like starting a new life for your family from the Lewis Howes Daily Motivation podcast.
It’s Wednesday, and I forgot to mention the whales
Before we start, I always like to give you a little personal note about what’s going on in my world. I don’t know if you care, but it makes me feel connected to you.
Anyway, this weekend the weather was fantastic, and we were at the beach. It’s not uncommon (although I never take it for granted) for us to see dolphins, this weekend was different. From a distance, we was what looked like dolphins but as we looked closer, the were much bigger. The spouts were bigger. The tails were bigger.
It turns out that they were orcas who rarely ever come down this way.
I was thinking to myself how frustrating the moment would be if I couldn’t be present with it because of a breakup or divorce. It’s these moments in life that don’t come up often that we can miss when we’re so caught up in difficult situations.
About this letter
In this letter, I intend to bring you the latest motivational content from the internet so that you can apply it to your personal life. Most of my clients are going through some very challenging personal growth experiences (sometimes involuntarily), so I hope this letter will bring you some inspiration, motivation, or just peace.
Today in Tomorrow
Lewis Howes’s The Daily Motivation Show - The Importance of Finding Your Purpose with Payal Kadakia (April 22, 2023)
This is a podcast primarily an interview by Lewis Howes on Payal Kadakia’s journey through entrepreneurship. I think starting and running a business takes a many similar emotional struggles that going through a divorce does, especially if you’re right on the edge of making a decision.
Both require you to believe in and work hard for a future you can’t see, an uncertain future, one with risk. Thus, both draw on many of the same human strengths.
Payal Kadakia was a dancer when she was a child, where she learned discipline, focus, and sacrifice. She went on to found a billion dollar company called ClassPass to help book fitness appointments.
In exploring her success, Howes asked what Kadakia what it takes to build a billion dollar company: “What’s more important in your mind? Is it the belief in yourself? Is it being clear on your identity?” (1:17)
I could easily ask you same question about your ability to go through with a divorce. To create a new life where today there is maybe only pain.
Do you think you need to believe in YOUR ability to start a new life for you and your children? Or do you need to be crystal clear on who you are and what you want in your life?
Her answer could be very helpful to you, even if you aren’t trying to build a billion dollar business. She said, “It’s the belief in yourself, but I’m going to change it to the why too. I think it’s the belief in what you’re doing and your passion in your reason for taking on anything you do that’s going to push you through all the challenges. It’s the energy to keep you going when you have setbacks.”
So ask yourself why you’re doing this, whether it’s to end a marriage, thrive in a divorce, or start a new life. Believe strongly in the why.
Is it because you are running from a bad marriage or running to a better future? Whatever you’re doing, there is a “why” to all this, and you need to connect deeply with it.
It might take some work, but connecting with your why will help you navigate your way to your family’s future.
She also has some interesting points about something that used to be called “Providence” in older, Christian writings. Hundreds of years ago, people believed that once you made a decision, then “Providence would move too,” and it would help you.
“Once I started going for it, the world will guide you through it. The universe helps you. If you push away [what you truly want], it’s harder to feel any of the signs and feel stuck. When you’re in motion, the world will lift you up. You will see the signs…and the doors will open for you.” (3:35)
Get in Touch With Me
I’m an attorney in the Los Angeles area. I work with clients in family law matters, like divorce, custody disputes, or post-judgment matters.
That said, I work differently from many attorneys, in that I focus heavily on supporting you through all aspects of it: the legal, financial, and emotional transitions. I help you move out of the past and into the future.
If you are in California, I’m happy to schedule a free initial consultation with you to help you chart a path forward.
If you are outside of California, we can still talk, but I can’t give you legal advice (nor would you want me to as all family law is state-specific).
I'm still trying to get the messaging right here. I clearly see the connection between the motivation and mental work it takes to be an entrepreneur and to make a break in your family. Is it coming through ok? Do you see the connection too?