How to stop missing your ex, the joy of saying no, overcoming the fear of judgment, and more
We're snacking on motivation today, like the pickles from The Grove
It’s Monday, which I agree is a highly problematic, troubling situation. But I found some great content to help you move your life forward today. I’ve got advice about moving past your ex from Leo Skepi, stopping people pleasing from Christine Hassler, a funny and helpful episode from Mel Robbins, and more from Sabrina Zohar, The One You Feed, and Rachel Hollis.
My weekend was… uneventful
Last week took a lot out of me, so things were pretty chill in the Rice household this weekend. Went to The Grove on Sunday, which took a ridiculously long time to get to because in Los Angeles we have this natural phenomenon called TRAFFIC.
I don’t complain much about it because I like living in such a big city. And sometimes all 22 million people are on the 405 with you at the same time. That’s ok. It’s 21,999,999 opportunities to not feel alone in an age of chronic loneliness. That is, if you can find parking. Plus the drive was worth it for the $3 pickles sampler at Kaylen + Kaylen.
I didn’t work super hard on the letter, so we’re just going to snack today. Like the pickles sampler.
About this letter
Today in Tomorrow brings you the latest motivational and personal development content from the internet so you can apply it to your personal life. Most of my clients are going through some very challenging personal growth experiences (sometimes involuntarily), usually in the form of a divorce, custody issue, or other family law matter. I hope this letter will bring you some inspiration, motivation, or just peace.
Today in Tomorrow
As I mentioned, in today’s letter I’m just snacking with you on a bunch of podcasts from Friday and over the weekend. Not going going deep on any one episode like I usually do.
🎧 Aware & Aggravated by Leo Skepi posted How to Stop Missing Your Ex & Signs You’re Gaslighting Yourself (April 30, 2023). I’m a little new to Leo, but I thought I’d give him a try. This was his “What would Leo do?” episode. He has some amusing and practical advice for saving money, which is super helpful for many of my clients about to break into two households.
When it comes to thinking about an ex, he recommends that you stop trying to NOT think about them, and “turn around and face the feeling you’re feeling.” (4:38) “What is the thing you think you miss?” (5:48) When he thought about his own relationships, he realized he just missed having a partner (6:22). Then keep listening for a bit for some hard hitting advice about making a life change, even when it’s hard.
🎧 Over It & On With It by Christine Hassler posted The Joy of Saying No and the End of People Pleasing with Natalie Lue (April 30, 2023). Natalie Lue has a new book, The Joy of Saying No to help readers find their “no” and to create healthier boundaries and reconnect with values and their authentic selves. I personally didn’t listen to this one because I don’t have anyone in my life trying to breach my boundaries, and in some ways I kind of wish I did have this problem (not to poke fun at anyone!)—been too isolated for too long!
🎧 The Mel Robbins Podcast posted Are You an “Over” or “Under” Functioner? A Hilarious and Helpful Guide to YOUR Stress Style (April 30, 2023). I listened to the first ten or twenty minutes of this one. She explains that the “over functioner” is, in my simplification, someone who just absolutely freaks out when a stressful situation comes up. The “under functioner” is someone who generally stays calm and cool. That’s me, but it’s only because I’ve had 40 years of experience and I’ve worked very hard to be always be cool. It’s actually something I value a great deal.
Anyway, she had an amusing story about her husband’s colonoscopy and the trip to the doctor that I think a lot of us can relate to.
By the way, did you know Mel Robbins was a criminal defense attorney early in her career? The internet said it, so it must be true.
🎧 The Daily Motivation by Lewis Howes posted Overcome the Fear of Judgment to Build a Resilient Business with Gino Wickman (April 30, 2023). Don’t let the title throw you off if you’re more interested in ideas to help you in your family law case. As I always say, I think it takes the same kind of grit and mindset to start a business as it does to start a new life or family for yourself. And sure enough, this episode hardly talks about business. Instead, Lewis and Gino Wickman spend most of the time talking about how difficult it is to get over a fear of judgment. Many of my clients struggle with this. “Whenever you have pain [like judgment], you have to sit with it” to get past it. (around 3:00) Gino asks a great question: “Are you making decisions out of fear [of judgment] or out of love?” (3:50)
🎧 The One You Feed posted Special Episode: Tribute to Mary Oliver (April 30, 2023). Oliver was a poet, and the hosts in this episode read some of her poems. I’ve heard the hosts quote her often, and she does have a great turn of phrase. If you’re into poetry, give it a listen and let me know how it is.
🎧 Do the Work by Sabrina Zohar posted How Your Anxiety and Patterns in Dating Are Playing Out and What Does the Process of Growth and Change Really Look Like? (April 28, 2023). Sabrina is new to me, and I listened to this episode for a while while doing some dishes. It’s really engaging. Feels like you’re there with them. Her podcast could be a good way for me to get a little more female energy in my life without raising my wife’s eyebrows.
🎧 The Rachel Hollis Podcast posted Zoe Lister-Jones Discusses Her New Show, SLIP, Embracing Leadership, and Lessons from Quarantine (April 28, 2023). Again, don’t pass it over just because it seems a little more leadership focused. I believe parents are in a role they could lead from if they chose to. Plus, you might discover a new show to bring into your life from Zoe, or Rachel for that matter. If you, please let me know.
Did I miss anything? Drop me a note to michael@michaelricelaw.com.
I listen well, and I keep secrets. Let’s talk.
I’m an attorney in the Los Angeles area. I work with clients in family law matters, like divorce, custody disputes, or post-judgment matters.
I work differently from many attorneys, in that I focus heavily on supporting you through all aspects of it: the legal, financial, and (especially) the emotional transitions. I help you move out of the past and into the future. It’s my favorite way to work.
If you are in California, I’m happy to schedule a free initial consultation with you to help you chart a path forward.
If you are outside of California, we can still talk, but I can’t give you legal advice (nor would you want me to as all family law is state-specific).
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