Brrr! I’m currently sitting in my little beach house on the floor next to my electric heater. It sure got cold quickly out here by the beach in Los Angeles. Like 48 degrees cold! To those of you in places like “mitten Michigan,” I apologize for complaining.
Over the past week, I’ve become convinced that my legal clients need a lot more than basic legal advice. And they don’t need it just from me, actually—I think most clients need more from their family law attorneys.
From example, I was in the Orange County courthouse on Wednesday (big success!) where the hallways are narrow. So I was able to watch and listen to other attorneys talking to their clients. The attorneys were so serious, and the clients looked so afraid. Some of the lawyers were actually escalating conflict—unnecessarily in my personal opinion.
In family law, attorneys have massive impacts on family dynamics, whether they want to or not, so I strongly believe that combining a coaching style will work really well. I realize not every attorney wants to or can do the kind of work that I’m proposing. But I can and I do want to.
In this letter, I want to describe the approach I am trying to take.
Divorce coaching + legal advice = success
Legal advice and coaching are both similar to and different from each other. In legal advice, clients present facts, lawyers apply the law to the facts, and they advise their clients on the legal implications of their situation. Sometimes they go to court to argue to a judge.
For example, you might come to me and explain you are considering a divorce. You tell me that you and your wife have a house together with some equity. She would want to stay in it. You want to sell it. You have no kids, but she wants spousal support. You want to limit the amount you have to pay. Given that information, I would take a look at the Family Code, and explain the legal tradeoffs of the house and likely amount of spousal support you would have to pay. (All things you could Google for if you wanted to.)
But what about “the Shoulds?” Whether you should get divorced, whether you should keep the house, and whether you should concede on spousal support are not questions most lawyers will go far into. Most will talk to you about the issues and listen to you, but traditionally lawyers won’t be helpful because they don’t know how to (or don’t want to) explore the issues the way a coach does. I feel this is one of the reasons clients get so lost and confused.
By contrast, coaches help clients answer the Should questions for themselves by taking clients through structured conversations and other tools. So for example, as you’re thinking about whether you should file for divorce, it might be helpful to spend some time thinking about your core values, what you want your life to look like, your relationship goals, and whether you think you can accomplish those things in your current relationship.
As you navigate through those conversations, however, the legal questions tend to be braided together with the coaching (like, can you afford two households?), just as the Shoulds do when talking to your lawyer.
Thus, for lawyers who are trained, skilled, and able to run a divorce coaching session, combining the two can be enormously powerful. I’m trying to put them together.
Attorney advertising. Written by attorney Michael Rice. 565 Pier Ave., #1481, Hermosa Beach, California 90254.